Thursday, December 07, 2006

msb-0091 Serious Sirius Christmas Promotion

msb-0091 Serious Sirius Christmas Promotion

vvvv Not in the show vvvv

If you've been listening to Pacific Coast Hellway, you'll no doubt have heard my name, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, "Chuck the Canuk," mentioned on the show concerning my high bid for his charity auction.

This episode is a fantasy piece, because somebody's bound to bid more that I did, but, in the meantime, I've gotten all that free advertising. :-)

Who knows, with millions of listeners, that may translate to a listener or two who might enter the URL in their browser and subscribe to the show.

And to be honest, this is being done for the advertisers ears more than its being done for our ears.

^^^^ Not in the show ^^^^

Welcome to a very special edition of the MSB Podcast. For a moment, we're stars in a portion of the Sirius firmament. (That constellation, "Canis Major," just happens to be one of Orion's hunting dogs. ... Son of a Bitch ...)

Many thanks to Mark Yasimoto Nemcoff and the Pacific Coast Hellway for having run this promotion for the David Foster Foundation (The links are all on the show notes at Or, if you're listening using iTunes, this is an mp4 so they're 'clickable'.)

This episode will be divided into two segments:
  • one twenty-four minutes long for the audience who are listening on Sirius Starz 102,
  • two for the spill over which will be on the normal podcast at
So what's this podcast about?

First and foremost, its about putting some podsafe tunes out there, usually picked around a theme, that people can enjoy. This episode, its all about Christmas.

I'm not a doctor, I'm an MSer. I don't talk about MS. I leave that up to the pros. I talk about how its affecting my life, my perception of life and things related to disabilities in general.

(And if you're driving home right now, watch out where you're going, or you could end up in a different kind of car crash than MSers did, or stepping in front of a bus, or something; so watch your ass.)

Second, it's about providing a specific niche channel for advertisers, the makers of products, goods and providers of services, that people who have this disease need to know about.

I've even got an advertising model that keep me out of their faces by giving a separate show per ad, and keep them out of my face.

Third, its a chance for me to have some fun with all of you, though that sometimes involves me bitching and ranting about things. (Mark Yashimoto Nemcoff definitely does not exclusively own that privilege.)

Lets start this off with a rocking tune: "Not So Silent Night" by "Charlie Crowe"

---- Not So Silent Night by Charlie Crowe

The gummint is an endless source of stories for me.

Between one thing and another they always fascinate with their endless opportunities for fuck-ups, fuck-overs, and general systemantic laws and flaws ( ).

Systemantics color my perception of the entire world.

Its about systems displaying antics, also called systems opposing their own function, or known as semantic anomalies, as described by Alfred Korzybski ( .)

Like, why did Egypt build the Aswan dam?

To control the annual flooding of the Nile and produce electricity.

And it certainly does that... But!...

So what happened?

Well, in stopping the flooding of the Nile, they found that the soil around it in the delta was becoming very poor.

What did they expect? Its only sand. Silicon dioxide. Useless to carbon based life forms.

The annual flood was the source of nutrients that the plants could use.

So that now they need to make fertilizers, which just happens to use up more electricity than the entire damn dam produces.

The net effect of the Aswan dam is a negative.

The Egyptians would have been better off finding some other way of coping with the annual flooding of the Nile; like moving out of the freakin' flood plain and building some levees way the fuck out. (Something that would've helped with Katrina too.)

But not to worry...

The dam, and lake Nasser behind it, is silting up.

The turbines are choking on muck, which may very well dispose of the problem by rendering them useless.

This will eventually make for a swell movie featuring the Aswan damn dam being blown to Hell and back.

Other examples are:

"Health care," which should properly be called "health don't care". Living with it as I do, I know what it really is. And its not pretty.

"Life insurance," which doesn't insure that you'll have one. Just that if you stop breathing before they stop your coverage, (and believe me they work out the odds so that they'll stop your coverage just in time,) your survivors get a consolation prize.

"Disability Insurance" which requires an extremely un-disabled, rugged constitution and almost super human stamina to jump through all the hoops, loops to make it over and past the kooks, to even apply for (and if you really need it, you can't even contemplate doing it.)

Thr really fun part are the tests that they require. By the time they approve the last one, the results from the first are too dated. And meanwhile, you're doing this entirely with out any income.

(Remember, its disability insurance. You can't work. And if you can't work, you'd better have some money put away to live on; which will screw you on the "means" testing; which means that if you can somehow scape enough to live through the entire process, you obviously don't need it. Been there, done that. Fuck 'em all where they breathe. They're moils who use their teeth to circumcise you.)

And so on...

Lets give a listen to something festive: "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by "Chris B."

---- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by Chris B.

As long as I've got the Sirius listeners here, there's something I need to get off of my chest.

It really chaps my ass that subway riders that won't move over to give me the seat nearest the exit doors.

I don't know which is more stupefying, being stared at right in the face by some gum chewing, fat cows' bovine eyes or when these people pretend that I'm invisible.

I've got a cane and its painted red for Christ's sake.

Stand the fuck up. You can afford to lose they weight.

I can't afford to break a hip tripping over the parcels you leave at your feet, in the aisle. (But I have used those parcels as a landing cushion.

"Merry Christmas chil'. Sorry but some cripple fell over an' sat on your dolly's head." :-)

And don't put your fuckin' face down in your paper.

Do you really, suddenly need to look at it as much as you usually stare into your handkerchief, like it was a book of revelations.

Fer Christ' sake, its only "The Post". I'm sure Rupert Murdoch won't mind this once.

Instead, I have to teeter my way to eventually park my ass in the middle of the bench of seats and find some way to turn around and get my heiny down without falling over.

That when there even is a free seat in the middle.

The reason the handicapped need the fuckin' seat is so that we can actually maneuver our asses down while hanging onto the damn pole. And getting up is as much of a bitch too.

Fuck, Al Qaida should feel real safe.

We'll never see a fuckin' terrorist with a knapsack filled with explosives on the subway because we don't look at anybody.

Any more than we look at each other in the elevator.

And to make sure that you're listening to me here's: "Do you hear what I hear" by "Dusty Hughes"

---- Do You Hear What I Hear by Dusty Hughes

But we don't have it all bad.

MS may be an auto-immune disease,
which causes scarring on the myelin sheath around our nerves,
which gives us a noisy nervous system,
but if you play your nerves right
and ride the razors' edge between too little sensation and too much,
modulating the noise, as it were,
the amount thereof can be used to cause absolutely mind blowing,
toe curling,
crawl out of your skin,
cascades of orgasms.

You think you know sex?
You don't know diddly.

My sex life is indescribably ... Well words just fail me.

But trust me. I pity you... :-)

So lets listen to: "Just Stockings On'" by "Munk"

---- Just Stockings On by Munk

Again many thanks to Mark Yasimoto Nemcoff and the Pacific Coast Hellway for having run this promotion for the David Foster Foundation.

Say Goodbye Sirius listeners. You're probably never hear from me again, unless you tune into .

Oh! Since, according to the World Health Organization, you're nine time more likely to be healthy than not, next time you park in a disabled parking spot, remember that my cane has a nasty spike on the end of it that is perfect for puncturing the side walls on your tires.

If you're not helping, then stay the fuck out of our way.

---- 24 Minutes are over

Okay gang.

I just want to wish
that you have, or had
(these shows are evergreen so they can be downloaded for simply yonks,)
a Merry Christmas,
or a Happy Hanukah,
or a Happy Kwanza,
or whatever,
and a Happy New Year.

I look forward to being with you, and hopefully, though tragically, with more of you in the coming year.

That's it for this episode..


Miss Chris said...

Those subway riders who don't give up their seat are a clueless bunch for sure. I've been the one to give up my seat even though I need it so maybe good karma will come my way. Even if it doesn't, I was raised right, unlike those clueless masses.

Charles-A. Rovira said...

Its not that they're clueless exactly.

They're just so scared to connect with anybody else.

By the way, you're the first to hear about this.



There's are about 6 million Sirius satellite radios out there.

Statistically, that's about 50,000 MSers. (Of course its not, there are lots of sound arguments to be made that that number is overly, well I hesitate to say optimistic.)

Out of those, I figure .1% of them will be tuned in to Sirius 102, be lustening and won't immediately switch off.

That means that I could reach 50 MSers.

Well, I hope so...pkxwubr

Miss Chris said...

Hoo-freakin'-ray is right! Uda man!