msb-0078 I WON'T buckle...

msb-0078 I WON'T buckle...

Feedback come first so...

Okay, this isn't feed back... Its a gripe.

Today as I write this, is November 8th, 2006.

I just went down for the mail.

What did I find waiting for me there?

The "fall" issue of "MS Connection" for the New York City Chapter. Great!

They have events for October.

On October 15th, I just found out they are going to hold the "MS Bike Tour".

On October 23rd, they are holding the 29th MS Dinner of Champions.

On October 28th they are holding the 3rd Annual Manhattan Society Halloween Costume Ball.

They had information on finding out if your polling site is accessible.

Its friggin' November. Are is were already. There is nothing as useless as timely information that's delivered too late.

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They also had a list of donations. But they didn't have mine.

$2.500 and I have to read about everybody else, from KPMG LLP to the Baton Rouge Area Foundation.... and my name is left off.

Okay KPMG LLP gave a lot more than I did, and thank you very much Kellogg Pete Marwick Group, but a whole lot of people who gave less than I did are on the list.

What? I don't exist!?!

But you took my money eagerly enough. I look at my AmEx statement and I friggin' well paid 'em: $2500.00.

Well, screw that.

Its bad enough that I have to find all my listeners, all you other MSers, the hard way, instead of getting to run an ad in their magazine.

This is in-friggin'-sulting.

I am livid.

I feel like they are pissing on me from left field.

"We've got the list and you dont; nyah, nyah, nih, nyah, nyah."

Yeah, Well fuck you the the horse you rode in on.

If you want to play it that way.

I'm man enough to take on both you and the horse. (I'm going to help Tim Henson with a donation right now.)

I'm am an MSer and I have our interests at heart. I am trying to provide a weekly channel for us to get the news in a timely fashion.

Not "after" the friggin' events...

They can even have their own shows and I can refer back to their shows on my podcast until it becomes dated and/or inaccurate... It won't even cost them anything.

I've already written more about people with MS in ten months than they have.

I have reached hundreds of people. I have reached nearly 3,800 downloaded shows. I am trying to make a difference. Fuck it all, I am making a difference. If you don't like it, though shit! I am a media presence.

I have proved my podcasting model, my delivery model, my advertising model. I have proved "everything".

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Discovery! I am back to my prime motivator: Intimidation.

I am not "intimidatable".

I have faced some punks armed with a handgun and did exactly the right thing (I'm still alive aren't I?) while retaining what was not theirs to have (Only one of them was armed. [The trick is to let them think they are winning while retaining what really counts.])

The very attempt to intimidate me raises my hackles and gets me to strive further and harder; to achieve goals beyond what anyone thinks can be achieved.

I am many things because of MS, but I am not intimidated by it.

I am not intimidated by failure either.

Its the only way any of us gain experience. Oh we can learn in some dry way from books and from stories, but it doesn't mean as much as actually failing at something or failing at some part of it.

I could write volumes about my failures. (I have written several articles and even had a column for a while back in the nineties [back before some of you were born, I bet.])

Oh, they were not failures to anyone else but me, but everything I have ever done or seen done could teach volumes., and I am an eager student.

I am not intimidated by fear. As FDR said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

I am not intimidated by the future. The small slice of that which I myself am exposed to is as much an opportunity as it is a challenge. The future yawns before us, open to anything.

I am not intimidated by MS. There is so much to learn, so much to explore, so many brave souls to meet. What MS represents is an opportunity to learn and people to know.

I am not intimidated by the Osamas out there. After all, I can only die once and, as sure as I was born, I will die. All they can do is affect the timing of my passage.

I am not intimidated by the absence of support on this podcasting venture, since every idea must eventually come to be recognized on its own merit.

Running my podcasts from my home means that I am doing this cheaply.

Having evolved a time independent and duration independent business model which gives any advertiser the time they need to elaborate on their product or service and hosting their media on my servers gives me a low cost, verifiable revenue stream.

They just have to realize it.

No, they have never seen the likes of me before.

In the mean time, I just have to reach my audience, the MSers of this world, with content and tunes.

And if I'm wrong. So be it. What can I learn from it?

I am undaunted. I am "not" giving up.

I'm going to reach you, all of you.

And we're going to turn demographics on its ear.

In the wider world, you may only be 0.0833% of the population but you're 100% of my audience.

That what counts. God damn it, you count, God damn it, we count.

We deserve a voice.