Wednesday, January 16, 2008

msb-0248 Years of Static, Part "Un"

msb-0248 Years of Static, Part "Un"

intro

Feedback comes first, so...

I'm still trying to find a way to get my mental maps and the physical reality of my poorly coordinated body to jibe.

I'm thinkin'. I'm thinkain...

There has got to be some way to translate this new found knowledge into some regimen to try to restore me to myself, or make that the inner me to the outer me.

Well, that's enough meditation for one day.

I wanna kick some butt and take down some names and I broke my feakin' pencil.

---- "Off In Space" by: "Years Of Static" http://www.myspace.com/yearsofstatic

Feed Forward comes next, so...

This is "your" segment.

Say "your" piece on this segment.

Share with other MSers whatever "you" want to share.

Drop me an email: "charles at MSBPodcast.com"

The message that "Jean the MagicBean" left on iTunes tells me that what I'm accomplishing with this podcast is "exactly" what what is required.

---- "Really Wanna Know?" by: "Years Of Static" http://www.myspace.com/yearsofstatic

Feed Me comes third, so...

Do you have a therapy, product, good or service that is of interest to MSers?

Consider advertising on this podcast.

Reminders on this segment only cost $0.03 per reminder per download of an episode. (A $30CPM targeted at MSers.)

It can/should lead to a full ad, in text, audio or video, which costs $3.00 per download.

That sounds expensive until you do the math and realize that if nobody downloads it it costs you nothing, unlike print, where you often can't even get an ad in to the specialized journals, or radio or TV where you'd just be wasting your money with the 0.0833% MSers rate of return. (That's about six times "below" the level of "statistical noise".)

But MSBPodcast is 100% in your market, and you only pay per download of your material.

No play, no pay.

Reach the MSers who would buy your therapy, product, good or service, with-out having to waste your advertising money on anyone who is "not" interested...

Send me an email at: "charles (at) MSBPodcast.com"

---- "World To Me" by: "Years Of Static" http://www.myspace.com/yearsofstatic

"Thesis:"

Like "Hannibal" from "The A-Team" [ http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=The+A-Team&x=0&y=0 ], "I love it when a plan comes together."

I was planing on talking about a very common symptom of MS when I happened to come upon a rock band called "Years Of Static".

How fitting I was thinking as I was putting fingertip clumsily to keyboard. (That gets into aspects of the other symptoms, so I'm not going to get into those quite yet.)

"Static" is pretty much how I would describe the scrambling of the signals when there's sclera on the wire.

---- "Cowbell Song" by: "Years Of Static" http://www.myspace.com/yearsofstatic

"Synthesis:"

We are always stuck when making a metaphor about the effects of MS between the "Scilla," the symptoms are electrical, and the "Charibdes", its kind of hard to describe the interference between the generation of a signal and and its reception as suseptible to "bird crap on the wire."

Than obviously doesn't jibe with what we know from everyday experience in the wider world.

When a light bulb blows out, at "God-damn o'clock" in the morning, say, in the bathroom, say, it doesn't gently degrade over the months or years.

When you flick the switch, it sort of flashes blue an instant before some part of the filament evaporates and you're left in the dark; hoping that you can find the medicine cabinet by feel, find the Aspirins by feel, remember exactly where the toilet bowl is, (and that your husband left the seat down. :-)

At different points in the past, I have gone for several months feeling "fuzzy" (There's no other way to describe it: "fuzzy". [I've just realized that the fuzziness might be due to "two"causes:
  1. the nerves are being attacked by the immune system, {sclera on/of the nerves}
  2. the mental maps are being attacked by the immune system. {sclera on/in the brain.}
I'll have to meditate on this.])

The fuzziness was caused by the dissolution of the clear boundaries between self and other.

I wouldn't say it ruined, but it definitely affected my capacity to enjoy being touched and to touch others (I "am" married and touch is an important way to go through and let the other person into our private space.)

(I wonder how it also ruined things, homuncularly speaking, and what got ruined exactly.
[Our brain maps sensation into a sensate "homunculus" [ http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0a/Sensory_and_motor_homunculi.jpg ] a representation in brain real-estate of the "primary touch cortex" which "Dr. Wilder Penfield" mapped as running in sort of a band across the top of your head, from ear to ear. {There is another "homunculus", the "primary motor cortex," right in front of the touch cortex which maps the motor controls.}])

---- "Watch The Sky" by: "Years Of Static" http://www.myspace.com/yearsofstatic

"Conclusion:"

MS is one bitchin' disease because it can not only affect how you feel but it can reshape what you feel "with". (Damn. I'm going to have to reread the friggin' book over at least twice before I can put it down. Sorry Eisenhower. You'll just have to wait some more...)

But I'm on a mission to determine exactly happened to my maps.

Are they intact but scarred over, or are they scrambled?

Do I want them not so much scrambled as moved over to some unscleraed brain real-estate.

---- "On A Mission" by: "Years Of Static" http://www.myspace.com/yearsofstatic

Outro

2 comments:

Shauna said...

I'd say both....the original maps are still there. But new ones are being made. At least that's what I hope they're doing.
I, too, am a touchy tactile person, and I missed the feeling I lost, albeit temporarily. It took several months to return to almost normal.
S.

Charles-A. Rovira said...

Hell Shauna,

its a question of finding out exactly where the damage had occurred.

There are a series of maps and I feel that I want to focus on the right ones.

It part of the "power of intention" (but not quite as Dr. Wayne Dyer means. :-)

You have to focus your energies on fighting the foe where it is, not where it isn't.

I have to learn to read MRI scans and relate them to my own body. (There's an entire ares that was affected but I can't make any sense of the scans.)

Glad to hear that you returned to almost normal.

That's where I suspect most MSers are, even the undiagnosed ones.