Friday, May 04, 2007

msb-0145 My Body Is Changing, In Weird Ways

msb-0145 My Body Is Changing, In Weird Ways


----"Don't Forget Yourself" by: "2012"

Feedback comes first, so...

"Welcome back Miss Chris!"

I missed reading your comments on my blog. [ ]

Glad to hear you're still walking amongst the living. :-)

---- "Unforgettable" by: "Dream Real"

Feed Forward comes next, so...

[... cricket chrips ...]

C'mon folks.

You must have something to say to the other MSers.

So write me: charles (at), or better yet say your piece on the widget on the left hand side of the page at

---- "Never forget" by: "Freedom Folks"

Feed Me comes third, so...

Do you have a therapy, product, good or service that is of interest to MSers?

Consider advertising on this podcast.

Reminders on this segment only cost $0.03 per reminder per download of an episode. (A $30CPM targeted at MSers.)

It can/should lead to a full ad, in text, audio or video, which costs $3.00 per download.

That sounds expensive until you do the math and realize that if nobody downloads it it costs you nothing, unlike print, where you often can't even get an ad in to the specialized journals, or radio or TV where you'd just be wasting your money with the 0.0833% MSers rate of return. (That's about six times "below" the level of "statistical noise".)

But MSBPodcast is 100% in your market, and you only pay per download of your material.

No play, no pay.

Reach the MSers who would buy your therapy, product, good or service, with-out having to waste your advertising money on anyone who is "not" interested...

Send me an email at: charles (at)

---- "Try to Forget " by: "Jen Elliott and Bluestruck"

Main Topic: My Body Is Changing, In Weird Ways.

No, I'm not in need of uh, "slightly irregular," jackets (The ons with a third arm.)

Nor do I need to buy a "second" hat to stay dry in the rain...

But, I've noticed that my legs don't, uh, feel the same. (I could do an entire podcast on the subjectiveness of the word "feel". Maybe next time...)

Like everybody else I've squatted in front of the refrigerator; just peering in at the larder; trying trying to decide on weather I should have the cheese or the, whatever, its not important.

My legs feel different, specially when I squat.

Then they feel like they're made of wood.

I can squat there for hours, far longer that it takes me to pick out something to eat.

My legs have felt weird since my last MS attack in 1995.

Since then, my feet "always" feel like I'm standing in a bucket of cold water, (that's from the somatic sense) but when I touch them they're as warm as the rest of me (that's a sensory invalidation of the somatic sense.)

I've had moderate difficulty walking. Its not that my legs don't work, (I still take stairs two at a time, [but now I need to hold the handrail, my balance is definitely "not" what it used to be {well my balance is (sensor nerves) but my ability to balance isn't (effector nerves), and the why has more to do with what's happening to me in the next sentence.}])

Walking forward is difficult, its like "forward" is one direction that my body no longer responds to. I sometimes get stuck just trying to will my body to move.

Its like my legs are locked in a cataleptic pose while actually being awake and fully awake and aware.

Luckily that only ever lasts a few seconds and then I'm back to shuffling along with my cane. (Part of the training as a dancer is that you always make sure of where of your feet are; and part of being an MSer is that I never trust my somatic sense anyway. [It has spared me a great many falls. :-])

---- "Forget About the world" by: "Jeremy Gratton"

Main Topic, part deux:

My response to "Miss Chris" dealt with cognitive symptoms of MS.

Or rather it didn't deal with them since I have so far ("knock wood") never experienced any. (Or maybe I have but don't know it. Can you imagine how much more annoying I'd be. :-))

I asked her to share any, uh, experiential information, she has with me.

I'm not talking about mere "brain farts", like not remembering where you put your keys, or where you put your glasses ("they're on your forehead dummy".)

Not even the annoying, "I know I came into this room for a reason. Now what the hell was it?" (My wife gets that sometimes and its not an MS related symptom; its an age related symptom. Basically as you age you lose some of your operational stack [the short term memory you devote to your, uh, short term memory {its between six or seven items and ... "Lethe" {the mythical river whose waters conferred memories to oblivion.}])

Since I haven't experienced it, that I know of, I can't talk about it myself.

But the next song is about something I do all the time.

---- "Forget My Name" by: "Katie Turner"

Forgetting people's names has been, is, and forever will be to my shame and to my detriment. (Names are history; you're you. What can I say? When we talk, I'm talking with you, not your history. [That's a very Amerind attitude, I know. But there it is.])



Miss Chris said...

I refer to my cognitive deficiencies as "brain cramps". They seem to mostly come when I'm trying to describe something, like a story. It takes effort to get the facts in the right order sometimes. I used to be able to have a conversation and the words would just come, but I really need to concentrate and think as I speak. It's so frustrating.

Charles-A. Rovira said...

You refer to them in more, uh, polite terms than I do :-)

But we're talking about essentially the same thing: the rate of flow from concept (deep contextual dependency) to the clear expression of that concept (which is difficult since you have no way of knowing the kinds of deep contextual associations may be resident in the mind of the intended recipient.)

Sort of like linguistic drift which enables us to create neologism.

But, no ... I suspect that what you're experiencing is related more to the difference between your own deep contextual dependency and the capacity to express it.

I have been lucky (an odd choice of words I must admit,) in that I seem to have all the MS lesions deep inside my brain while leaving the cortical folds, where our thought processes occur, relatively intact.

Instead my medulla-oblongata was described, by my first neurologists, as "fried" and my MRIs have shown the lesions to be deep in my brain.

Miss Chris said...

The corpus callosum seems to be the area of the brain that is responsible for most of our cognitive difficulties and, of course, my latest MRI had my new lesion there. Surprise, surprise!

Charles-A. Rovira said...

The corpus callosum is the area of the brain which joins both hemispheres of our brain.

It is the major pathway for us to communicate internally from the left (more rational) side with the right (more artistic) side.

That must give you some really screwy sensations.

While I have been affected bi-laterally (both sides are effed-up equally) this strange symmetry has left me with an excellent sense of balance, just an inability to properly work with it myself.

If I fall over (an extremely rare occurrence,) its because I was not able to react in time to something that was happening to me. Its never been because I didn't know "which way was up" type of thing.

What about sensory confusion, (synesthesia,) like taste and smell or sight getting crossed so that you smell a color or see a sound?

That affects 1 in 2,000 people to some degree or other.

Miss Chris said...

I haven't had any sensory confusion like you described but it might keep things interesting if I did. I can't imagine being able to smell a color or see a sound.

Charles-A. Rovira said...

Well, it would certainly keep things interesting.

And you'd have some very good company.

Anonymous said...

I feel this way all the time, but how do I know it's MS? my hand and arm muscles twitch sometimes when I don't want them to. a lot. what is wrong with me, and is it MS?

Charles-A. Rovira said...

Hello "anonmous"

I'd hie my butt to the doctor.

I don't pretend that I'm a doctor and neither should you.

Leave the diagnostic to the diagnosticians.